Envy

Envy crawls inside my mouth

infecting my brain like a demon of sin

forcing me to put friends against friends

lovers against lovers

family against family

Re-enacting traumas of abandonment that were never mine to live

a fantasy of corruption conjured from an unstable mind.

A way to feel bad without bad happening

suffering for the sake of it

it may have not happened yet, that's it

it will surely follow, it's destined fate.

So let's dream about it. Fantasise about it

betrayal because I am just that replaceable

.